When Ginny Rommety became IBM’s new chief executive last fall, she spoke about a point early in her career when she was offered a promotion that she initially rejected, for fear that she was under-qualified. Her husband asked her: “Do you think a man would have ever done that?” She learned an important lesson then and there — to be self-confident on the outside even when she felt self-critical on the inside.

If the first female CEO of Big Blue thinks she’s under-qualified, one wonders how the rest of women are stacking up on the self-confidence and self-promotion scales? There has been a lot of discussion recently about women’s tendency to think of themselves — and promote themselves — less assertively than men. These calls to action are inspirational, but maybe there’s another way for women to think about this issue–a way that’s less about inspiration, and more about cold, hard math.

Here’s where I think women get it wrong: we are perpetually rounding down, where, by all rules of mathematics, we should be rounding up. And that slight miscalculation has huge repercussions in our professional lives.

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My dear friends Adelaide Lancaster & Amy Abrams recently published their new book: The Big Enough Company: Creating a Business that Works for You.  They are the founders of In Good Company, a shared workplace community in NYC and they’ve interviewed hundreds of women entrepreneurs to talk about how to make your own business work for you.  They are rockstars and I’m thrilled Adelaide generously agreed to answer my most pressing questions here:

The old saying goes “size doesn’t matter” but you seem to think that it does– and in fact bigger is not necessarily better.  Can you explain that?

Size doesn’t matter. But satisfaction does. Too many entrepreneurs are told and believe that bigger is always better. As a result they pursue a “growth for growth’s sake” business model and make steep compromises in the process. Instead we encourage entrepreneurs to be very clear about their own motivations and goals and then build a company that is big enough to achieve that. Only your specific goals can determine the right business size. Very small companies can be very successful and satisfying or limiting depending on those goals. But it’s misguided and unsustainable to think that success comes from having a bigger business – more employees, more customers, more locations, etc. You can’t measure success with external comparisons or by following “proven” business models. You can only achieve success by making sure you get what you want from entrepreneurship.

What should your goals be as you start your own company?

We aren’t in the business of telling people what their goals should be. Instead we are in the business of helping people to identify and honor their goals as their build their companies. I think people underestimate the variety of reasons that entrepreneurs strike out on their own. Some want freedom, others autonomy over their time; others desire creative control, while others can’t stand being told what to do. Each wants to make money – but that amount can vary greatly. No matter what your specific motivations are, they have profound implications for not only how you initially structure your company but how you continue to grow it as well.

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